Beyond Feelings

HuffPost recently ran an article about condescending things people say at work, including an ageist statement that often targets younger workers (“You’ll understand when you’ve done this longer.” Ugh.)

The other snarks were also sneakily disdainful—but I was surprised at the reason the reporter thought these comments were so bad: Because they “hurt our feelings.” Really, hurt feelings are barely the problem.

Offensive statements can cause real harm, from the toxicity of stress to the risk of accidents. Othering and alienating, they also set the stage for having one’s livelihood swept away.  

Let’s not dismiss dismissive remarks so easily.

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